What people really talk about at work
Tuesday, March 18th, 2008
This one should interest all managers and bosses. According to a Harvard Business Review podcast (Mar 08), 60% of all interpersonal conversation in the office falls into two categories: (1) workers talking about how good they are; (2) workers denigrating and complaining about their co-workers. And this is a worldwide phenomenon.
The weather, and even babies, take a back seat to self-promotion and the tearing down of others. And it does not surprise me one bit. Why? Because if everyone were wise and rational, we would all be wearing togas
So, people can be blind to the detrimental impact, even to their own person, brought about by all the negative conversations and gossips. A really basic rule of thumb applies in such situations: if a topic does not add value, avoid it. Of course, this begs the question whether people understand and recognise value.
Another great advice I have been given is, whatever you would not say in front of someone, do not say (or write) it anywhere else. (Same thing goes for things on the Internet – if you have to hide it from your parents, kids and co-workers, click away from it!)
Which brings us back to why, oh why, do people spend 60% of their office chit chat on negative matters. Confucius probably got it right. The “superior man” (大人) does not need to stoop to low levels in order to promote himself. If fact, it is his duty to promote all those over whom he has influence. On the other hand, the “lesser man” (小人), will sow discord, exploit the weak, and take advantage for self-gain. The question that Confucius poses is whether the “lesser man” can ever learn and recognise good values. The answer is yes (except for some gone-case types).
This is where we come back to our corporate world. Confucius points the way by saying, “By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.” For example, it is by the constant practice of asking “Does it create value?”, and acting on the logical conclusions, would we be able to do the right thing, say the right thing. Ethics needs practice.
I believe in a world of 大人, where we can reclaim 60% of our talk time for something much better.